What’s it like being married?

In October 2016, I married the woman that I met through using my two systems that I had created. It was a wonderful wedding with around 80 people who represented most of our family and friends, and we enjoyed a day of great weather, wonderful memories and plenty of laughter, tears and broad smiles.

Since that day, I have had quite a number of people asking if we felt any different, what it was like being married, and variations thereof.

It got me to thinking about that question and the way that I see it, is that if things have changed, we shouldn’t have had a wedding at all. I know there will people who get a little touchy about me saying that, but bear me out. If there are problems in a relationship, getting married won’t fix them, so don’t do it. If you require getting married to create security for you or your partner, don’t get married. If there is pressure from people outside the relationship to get married, don’t do it.

The best time to get married is when you have worked your way through the natural course of a relationship, so that you have arrived at the stage where your problems have been addressed, deal with, considered, debated, fought for, and finalised. Of course other things will come up and if you have successfully dealt with your previous problems, then dealing with any upcoming ones will be easier and not affect the marriage.

A marriage is just a statement to the external world that you are serious about the relationship and intend to stick around for at least until it no longer works for both of you and you have tried everything to make it work. After all, a short marriage that was brilliant, is better than a long unsatisfying, very average marriage. As a bloke I know has said about his parents; They have had 50 years of wedded misery.

So, in response to those questions from others, my relationship with my lady was stable, wonderful, loving, supportive, encouraging, fun, challenging (in the right ways), accountable, and well worth it before the wedding and is exactly the same after. So, marriage has changed our relationship at all, and it shouldn’t. It will last as long as it needs to and will be a brilliant journey regardless. I love her, she loves me, end of story.

If you are considering marriage, consider it for the right reasons. If you are married and the wedding changed things, it might be worth looking at why it changed things. If you have been married, that’s okay, there’s always a chance to get it right next times and as they say, if this marriage succeeds, the others never failed. That certainly helped me, knowing that.